A question came up last night during a discussion about change in the church.  “What is spirituality?” I’ll admit that I am steadfast in the line of people who will profess to be spiritual, but how do I express what that is?

And I expect that is the point.  Spirituality is very individual.  It is a place that you can reach in those very special moments when all things center into the collection of your being.

It isn’t faith.

It isn’t Christianity.

It is the melody of love without reason.

It is the quiet stillness of light radiating across the broken earth bringing life to the world.

It is air coursing into our lungs and breathing out words that change lives and moments and centuries.

It is a whisper of a truth.

It is all we are and how that connects with the we at large.

To purchase “Sea Mermaid” follow the link https://www.etsy.com/listing/63582413/sea-mermaid-85-x-11-fine-art-print?ref=market

It is a wall I have faced many times over the last 17 years.  In those moments when I face the wall it is the most frightened I have ever felt.  It isn’t dark rooms and an unchecked imagination.  Or thrill rides or horror movies.  It is the moment in time that one of my children is experiencing pain, sense of failure, or a barrier…and I do not have a remedy in my arsenal of Mom tricks to fix it.  Nobody wants to watch a loved one suffer.  Least of all does a parent want to watch their child hurt.  We are programed to pick them up, dust them off, and put band-aids and kisses on the boo-boos.  We learn to put on a brave face, listen, offer advise, fuss, provide tools, seek fixes, mediate, and love.  Oh do we love.  It looks different each time and often those very same children that we expend our energy, heart and tears for; don’t recognize the love that we live by.  And that is okay.  They don’t need to understand the work it takes to find the best words to use. To intervene only as much as we feel is right for their safety. To let them learn and grow…fail and succeed.  And hurt.

Parenting is not for the weak at heart.  And still I fear.  I fear my own inadequacies, not because I am afraid of failing myself, but that somehow I won’t provide the best for those I love so fiercely.  That somehow I am not good enough or worthy of the title of Mother when I am at a loss of what to do.  Today when I was on Simple Intention, I was reading the description for “Forty Days in the Wilderness”.  It reads…

Deuteronomy 31:6  “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

He will not leave me or forsake me.  Because my Lord is by my side…I can be strong and courageous…in the midst of my fear.  And I do fear.  But he will not leave me or forsake me.  So I will not leave them or forsake them.

I am at a wall again.  But today I choose not to be afraid.

“All The Wild Horses” by Sarah Vega

A few weeks ago, Simple Intention sold a bracelet.  Now it isn’t that our website is a money maker by any stretch, but we do get orders from time to time…this one was just special.  I started communicating back and forth with the purchaser who was giving the bracelet to a friend.  We began plotting the best way to get the jewelry to her in enough time for the friend’s birthday party.  I started discovering fun facts about her sweet family.  Then I saw her artwork.  Not only is Sarah pretty dadgum talented (and captured one of my favorite creatures on God’s beautiful planet in the picture above,) but she also has a heart and message to share.  I thought about how when I  discovered a new talent  last year, it was more about tapping into a spiritual side of me that needed some dusting and fluffing.  Sarah and her husband also use their gifts to feed spiritual love through a special ministry called Take Heart Ministry that supports work to liberate children from the fishing industry in the Lake Volta region of Ghana.

I am very proud to be a contributing “artist”.  The design is called Released From Bondage and it is exclusively available on the Take Heart Ministry website.  All proceeds go to help support work on the ground in Ghana, providing resources to help the children’s nutritional, educational, medical, and spiritual needs.  Complex Beginnings.  Simple Finishings.

Recently, we had to make some important decisions about where our oldest child would be attending high school. It appeared that the best option was a school that was not necessarily convenient for a working parent. It is not in the public school system and the hours of operation begin after I start my work day and end before I complete my work responsibilities. I registered him knowing that I did not have transportation identified. Although he is over 16 years of age, we only recently convinced him that getting his learner’s permit wouldn’t be a bad step on his way towards independence. Within two days of me juggling schedules to get him to and from school, a fellow parent called and offered to take him to and from school since we only lived one neighborhood over.

artwork by Justin Hillgrove http://www.impsandmonsters.com

The tension that I had been feeling suddenly melted into hope that we would be able to get this worked out. We made arrangements to drop my son at her house the following morning. I offered to provide money to offset the gas costs, but she insisted it wasn’t necessary.  My son picked out a Simple Intention necklace to take her as a thank you gift.  For two weeks this arrangement has worked seamlessly.  It has saved me time, energy, and stress.  One morning this week I received a call a few minutes before I was to drop my son by the family’s home.  The mother was calling to let me know that she had to go to the doctor to have a procedure, but that her husband was happy to take him to school and he should let himself in the house through the garage.  Was she sure she didn’t need me to take the boys this morning?  No, she was quite certain her husband was happy to oblige.  I thanked her, dropped him off and headed off to work.

Around the time that school let out, my son called to ask who would pick him up since their son was not in school that day.  “What!?  Do you mean his father dropped you off when their son didn’t even go to school?”  Yes.  That is in fact what happened.  Within a few minutes the father was back at the school to pick my son up for the end of the day.  I am now perplexed.  Did I miss a cue?  Am I abusing the gracious offer they have extended to transport my son?

I quickly sent a text to the mother saying that I hoped her procedure had gone well and to please thank her husband, indicating that I wasn’t aware that their son wouldn’t be there.  Her response stopped me in my tracks.  Three days later I am still thinking about it.  I locked the text so I couldn’t delete it.  I shared it with my children.  I told others about it.  I will tell them. This is what we are called to be.  I needed the reminder that not only was my family worth the effort, but that it was worth our effort to share a kindness in turn.  It simply read…

This is your season to be served.  See you in the morning.

Two weeks ago, an Elder at our church filled in for our Pastor while she was out of town. Sam acknowledged that he was humbled to be filling in, he worked very hard to balance following his prepared sermon and making eye contact, and he tentatively made it through his task. But a strange thing happened. As I listened to Sam, I was struck by the depth of his commitment, I was touched by his words of action in what we are called to be, and in a brand new way my thought was, “THIS is what we are called be. THIS is why we demonstrate and proclaim God’s unconditional love!” I left church feeling energized and faithful. I also made a mental note to write Sam that day to tell him how meaningful that sermon was to me. Did I mention that this took place two weeks ago?

Some of my very best intentions…my simple intentions…go unfulfilled. Sometimes it is because I let the intention slip away from me and it feels like too much time has gone by to recapture it. Sometimes it is because I attempt an action and it falls short of what my intention was. Sometimes it is because the situation changes and I INTENTIONALLY change my intention. For whatever the reason my simple intention often goes undone.

But this post is about action.  Several weeks ago, at the prompting of friends and family, I made steps to open a business. There was a lot of opportunity to be too busy. There was enough fear to tell myself it wasn’t worth the risk.  But my intention was not just a whim. I have been working towards praying for clarity on decisions. I don’t always have the answers, but I know that my source will. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, But as it is written, “what no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him-“. If I am faithful; if I follow the clarity that is provided, then my intentions will coincide with my journey.

The first week of business has surpassed my expectations.  I didn’t let perfection get in the way of progress. I didn’t let time or excuses deter me. When my intention is faithful, simple and beautiful things happen. And how do I know when my intent is faithful? I find the answer in a variety of ways…and sometimes it comes from the words of an Elder being faithful to his own call. Thank you, Sam. You have been served.

I have been very intentional as of late to only allow positive images and thoughts to seep into my daily conscious stream.  There are plenty of opportunities to question my worth, critique my performance, or judge my output, but I am filling my internal “feed”  with edifying

whispers and checking when I recognize old feelings of self doubt creeping in.  I don’t know what the opening days of Simple Intention will hold for me.  For my faith.  For my family.  I just keep going back to the mission of sharing God’s love through beautiful creations made from mixed metals and gemstones and think…this might work.  My hope is one day, someone will be wearing a piece of Simple Intention jewelry and it will remind them when unproductive messages of “I am not enough”, “it is too hard”, or “I don’t deserve”  freeze them into immobility, that they can embrace the now and celebrate…”this might work”.

Taking risks is not in my character.  I like to be certain.  To calculate outcomes.  To organize the next step.  This level of control works well for me…until it doesn’t.  You can’t control life and God sent me subtle (and not so subtle) reminders when I became too comfortable.  It started with a day.  Then a series of days.  Normal stopped making sense.   I began to doubt my worth. Question my identity. Falter as a parent and spouse.  Lapse in my faith.

This site isn’t about those days.  It is about the beauty that came from them.  It is about the gift of giving and receiving in turn.  In a simple act of hand making gifts for people I love, I found healing, hope, and inspiration.  Day by day with patience, love, and support, I discovered that I have more to give than what results in a paycheck.  I learned to love my family in different and more powerful ways.  I began to peel back the layers and find out what God’s simple call is for me.

And so, I hope that you have come to this site because you heard about it through a friend or loved one.  I hope the pieces that I make will bless you with a reminder of faith, growth, light, and love.  Each has a story of inspiration and is meant to be a reminder of the goodness that is in and around us every moment.  They are affordable, beautiful, handmade, and meant to share.  Anticipated on-line opening of our virtual store is February 2013.

Many blessings and Simple Intentions